Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
