Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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