We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
