woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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