can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
