sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
