Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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