Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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