if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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