Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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