Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
