I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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