All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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