the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize