just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
