sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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