I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
