What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
