i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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