I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
