They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
