You're so nebulous sometimes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
