I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
