I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
