She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
