This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
