He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
