i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
