if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
