We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
being pregnant is like rehab
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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