If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
