Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
