Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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