It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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