Is it normal to miss your booty call?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
