i permit you to call me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
