I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
there's paper in my vomit.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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