Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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