left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
