The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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