Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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