You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
