so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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