these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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