Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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