Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
