you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
