I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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