So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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