Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
