Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
