is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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