how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
