that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
