going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
