Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize