There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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